Quotes from The Course of Love by Alain de Botton:

“What we typically call love is only the start of love.”

“Love means admiration for qualities in the lover that promise to correct our weeknesses and imbalances; love is a search for completion.”

“Love is also, and equally, about weekness, about being touched by another’s fragilities and sorrows, especially when – as happens in the early days – we ourselves are in no dangers of being held responsible for them.”

“We believe we are seeking happiness in love, but what we are really after is familiarity. We are looking to re-create, within our adult relationships, the very feelings we knew so well in childhood and which were rarely limited to just tenderness and care. The love most of us will have tasted early on came entwined with other, more destructive dynamics: feelings of wanting to help an adult who was out of control, of being deprived of a parent’s warmth or scared of his or her anger, or of not feeling secure enough to communicate our trickier wishes.”

“Marriage: a hopeful, generous, infinitely kind gamble taken by two people who don’t know yet who they are or who the other might be, binding themselves to a future they cannot conceive of and have carefully omitted to investigate.”

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